There are thousand ways I could have started it, but none being satisfying enough to deliver exactly how I am feeling, so I started it raw.
We all love people around us! We have people we see every day, we live with them, but never acknowledge their presence until they are taken away!
But, I had for every single day known, that how lucky I was to have a father and a mother
My father literally had no life of his own, I was his life. Every time he would pray, he would pray for me, everything that he ever wanted in his life included something for me. I never had to ask for anything because he was always working in making a life for me, a happy life. He would say I am his everything. I cannot still believe how selfless his love is for me and how lucky am I to have someone loving me so selflessly. Everything that makes me happy makes him happy too.
How did my life lost light?
Two years ago he fall sick, we had to rush him to hospital, and he stayed there for 3 months and came home fine. It was then I was introduced with the thought of losing him. Only if I can pen that feeling down, it was as frightening as losing a part of my own soul. My whole body stopped working, all I could say to myself was that I am not letting him go away, he is my father and I am going to fight for him. Believe me we brought him home fine, which was not less than winning the entire world for me.
It was then, we knew that we could lose him anytime and I cannot thank god enough that I had realised it then, since then I have lived every minute with him, he was so much full of life, and every second with him is a memory for lifetime. Such a great human being that if was not my father and he was my friends father, I would want him to be my father, I mean I will have to work really hard to be as cool as he was. Just a free and loving soul.
One month ago he fall sick again, we could not bring him back home this time, he left us on 26.05.2019 at 11:30 in the morning after struggling for life entire month.
I came home without my man. Both my arms and life empty. My source of life and happiness was taken away, we fought hard but what’s supposed to be done will be done. No matter how much we resist.
What happened next?
People came and sympathised, told me to move on, take care of my mother like my father would do, told me to be strong, and told me that they were with me and so much more.
But how do I tell them, he was not only a father, son or husband but he was also him, and he wanted to live, he was enjoying his life. He was never sad, he just wanted to stay and see me getting married, starting a family of mine and he wanted me to earn, he wanted to sit in an aeroplane once, he wanted to travel.
We will live , because we have to but the point is we are human, and we forget things, so I thought I will write down every memory that I have but then I realized that I cannot write his fragrance down I cannot write his feelings down, whatever I will write is my version of his story, which is not fair to him, and so I have decided to live my life, how he wanted me to live, because he is my father, he can never leave me and I will never let his memories fade away. Love that my man had for me cannot be explained in 15 minutes.
Dedicated to my father!
“I can see his simile, which hurts and makes me happy at the same time,
Everything around me is a world he created for me.
I remember every life lesson he gave me, and want to hear it once again.
His memory keeps flashing; I want to see him, once again
Fact that he is gone is still a little unknown
I want to remember his memories for lifetime, by creating similar more memories”.
(just trying to shaping blue)
Don’t forget to read How to be strong? by shapingblue
Also read My Life has changed by Kalyn!